When I struggle with my kids it is ALWAYS because I’m controlling too little or too much. Control is that whole Goldilocks thing…it’s got to be just right. Not too loose, not too tight. This is really hard for a lot of us as parents and teachers. I’m not all that proud of it, but I can admit that I like compliance…and that kids need me to be in control in really healthy, loving ways.
Over and over and over and over again I come back to the truth that the more control that I can give away in healthy ways, the more control I ALWAYS gain in my relationships with kids (and others!). Always…
Control that’s too tight or too loose can be a source of real suffering for my little ones, suffering for me, and suffering for our relationships. Little kids—no ALL people—need control in their lives. We need control in such a way that provides space & time to learn and experience cause and effect in really safe ways early in life. As life goes on, choices get more expensive and even tragic for how we live our lives. Give some control away over small things that only affect your kids in affordable ways.
Give them the practice they need for the real world—start today—the experts at Love and Logic offer simple tips here. Start small, be kind to yourself…pick some low-hanging fruit first!!!